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Coaching Process

Carmen van Straalen

Updated: Apr 10, 2021

What is coaching all about?


So to be perfectly honest with you before training to be a coach, I thought having a coach was probably like having your own personal cheerleader. They would send you inspirational messages and just keep telling you “You can do it”….. until you “did it”. I now know coaching is so much more.


I guess the first important thing about coaching is what it’s not. It’s not counselling and in actual fact, we don’t even really give advice. We may revisit the past to have a look at feelings and beliefs around a certain situation but we don’t set up camp and stay there. Coaching is about moving you forward.


Coaching is also more than goal setting. We can definitely get you to your goal but we have to dig a little deeper to find out the real reason why you’re not getting there. I’m not going to lie, going through the coaching process may not be pretty, there’s a good chance there will be tears and it’s going to be uncomfortable but the end result will definitely be worth it. I’ll let you in on a little secret, if you’re feeling uncomfortable, that’s when the growing and changing is happening.


Say for example, you want to start getting fit, so you join a gym. You’ve belonged 3 months and not gone once. You come to me and say “Carmen I need to get to the gym four times a week, can you text me at 5.00am to wake me up in time”. I could agree to that but I guarantee it wouldn’t be long before you blocked my number. Here’s what I’d do instead….


We’d sit down and talk. Turns out that you’re not actually that happy with the way you feel in your self and think that everyone is going to stare at you as soon as you hit the treadmill. This is when we’d dig a bit deeper. Where actually did this thought come from? What was the situation around it? Is the feeling still relevant to the person you are now? Once we’ve uncovered where the original thought came from we can start doing the work around changing it.


While the above is a very simple example, what’s really important to know is that in order for change to stick, it needs to happen in the mind.


Another really important thing about the coaching process is honesty. You being honest with me but also being honest with yourself. This is the uncomfortable part of coaching. My job is to provide you a safe space where you can share with me your story and I will listen. I will listen with no judgment and everything I hear is kept confidential. I promise you with a background in the legal industry I take confidentiality VERY seriously.


Having worked with my own coach (yep, even coaches need coaches) I know what a difference having a coach has made to my life. It has enabled me to have the courage and confidence to close the door on a very familiar and comfortable part of my life (my corporate job) and step into the brand new exciting chapter of mindset coaching.


C


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