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Do We Have to be Positive all the Time?

For the last couple of years gratitude and being grateful has become a big business. I have filled up many a gratitude journal with stuff I am grateful for, but do we have to be grateful for everything… even the crap stuff?

Feelings and emotions are part of being human and whether we like it or not we have to experience ALL of them. No one particularly likes feeling hurt or vulnerable, but we can’t diminish or ignore these feelings. Try and ignore them for long enough, and they will start having an impact on your physical health.

How to acknowledge feelings and emotions in others

We love hearing about the successes of our friends and family and it’s easy to be around people who are loving life but how do we support them if they are sharing their struggles with us? Helpful phrases can be:

· “I am here for you no matter what”

· “It’s okay to have a cry”

· “This is really tough”

· “What you are feeling is absolutely normal”

I would probably stay away from the following statements:

· “It could be worse…”

· “You just have to be positive…”

· “Just stay positive…”

· “It is what it is…”

· “Everything happens for a reason…”.

I am going to be completely honest here, I have been guilty of wheeling out the last phrase on more than one occasion.

How to deal with feelings that are challenging you

First up, acknowledge it and don’t judge it. Don’t feel guilty about being angry, resentful or pissed off. If you journal, write about it. Once written down, it will lose its intensity. Go for a run, blast your favourite music or talk about it to a trusted friend. Also, it’s amazing what a good night’s sleep will solve. If you find yourself really stuck in the emotion, it could be time to seek professional help with it.

A while ago I found myself in a situation that really challenged me. Here I am trying to be all namaste and love and light and yet I was also feeling incredibly pissed off and frustrated. I tried to keep a gratitude journal, let’s be grateful for this situation…it didn’t work. I tried to work out what this situation was trying to teach me... that didn’t work. I did yoga, I meditated and I walked the dog. Nothing was really helping me.

The more I tried to ignore and block my feelings, the more irritated and snappy I became.

This was not normal for me and what I was doing was not healthy. I also started to develop this weird pain in my fingers. Being a reiki practitioner, I was all to aware of what happens when you push feelings down and the affect it has on the body. My body was talking to me, and I needed to listen. I decided it was time to talk to someone about it. What they said to me was incredibly simple, but yet so very effective - YOU ARE HUMAN, and these feelings and emotions are normal. It was a “light bulb” moment. Being all love and light and namaste does not make you immune from challenging emotions and feelings.

After more journaling and two much needed reiki sessions, I am happy to say that the weird finger pain went.

Things to remember

· It’s important to feel and acknowledge your feeling and emotions.

· Do not judge yours or others feelings and emotions.

· Be honest with yourself.

· Don’t use gratitude to bypass dealing with emotions.

· Feelings are like waves; they come and go.

Feelings are part of being human, they are not who are we but more about what we are experiencing.


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1 Comment

Wow Carmen, I love this, so on point!

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